February 25, 2013
I think I've talked before about my uncertainty, initially, of a relationship with Richard, when he first came into my life. Remember? I was scared of being hurt and losing control and he was different than any other boy that had waltzed into my life. One of my favorite memories is the time that God spoke to me through Richard...and through a text message.
Richard and I had just spent some time talking through our lives and our desires for our futures (both individually and what it would look like together). It was early, early on in our relationship and I just wasn't sure. I wish I could tell you that I knew I was supposed to be with this boy as SOON as I met him, but our story isn't like that. We had mentioned things of our faith to one another, but had not had any real, deep conversation of what God meant to us. I remember that I had recently been thinking, I want a man that will openly pray aloud with me. Now, mind you, I am not one to pray aloud often. I find myself awkward as I fumble through words and sentences. I know that these things do not matter to God, but I am still figuring out how to be comfortable with it. So these were private thoughts I had been having with myself (and with God) and I had not mentioned them to Richard yet, but I had wondered if he would be the type of man that would fill this request.
So, after our conversation of life's desires, I left his apartment (remember - still haven't told him about my praying thoughts). He sent me a sweet text message telling me he knew everything would be okay and he is so glad we get to work through these things together. I sent him one back saying something along the lines of, I am so sorry if I seem unsure. I am just trying to listen to the Lord and make sure that I am where He wants me to be, because I have ignored him before and have gotten hurt. Richard wrote back saying that he was happy to hear that because God was number one in his life now and he was glad to hear he was number one in mine too. And in the same text message he said, "I have also given some thought to something that I have never been one to do, but would like to try it with you if you want. I would like to pray out loud with you, I would love to hear the desires of your heart and for you to hear mine as well."
Oh, hey God - nice to hear from you! I was stunned. I sat on my bed with my mouth open and my heart fluttering inside my chest. How cool, I thought. And I knew that I was right where God wanted me to be. It was such a crazy, wild, radically neat moment. I have to, regretfully, say that I never told Rich about that moment. I am not sure why, but it never came out of me. He would have smiled and thought it was really cool, too. We have to remember that God can speak to us whenever He wants and however He wants. Even through a text message!
Be sure to sit and listen, friends.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”