Too bad we don't realize it until it is over.

September 10, 2013

Here we are on the eve of the 8 month mark of sweet Richard's passing. As I drove home tonight from an evening work event, the song "10,000 Reasons" came on and I was overcome with sincere joy and comfort, knowing that my God is always on my side and always at my side. Oh what a year it has been so far and not once have I questioned whose hands I am carried in. What a beautiful feeling. 

This is an interesting point in the grieving process. At this point last fall, Richard and I were getting serious into our relationship. Now I am constantly finding myself recalling what we did on this day of last year, or how we spent this or that specific weekend. It makes for a lot of mixed emotions as I glance back over those memories. Some are great; some are hard. And it's not like I have multiple September 10ths to think back on, or 3 Christmases to remember; I only have one of everything. I think I like it that way, though, because it makes each of those days I spent with him so extremely special. When you only have the opportunity to spend a short time with someone, everything becomes a lot more monumental. Too bad we do not realize that until it is over. 

But here I am moving right along. With the help of God, prayer,therapy and wonderful people I am moving forward. My heart is lonely and ready to be loved again but I know that The Lord will take care of that. I know He's got a spectacular plan that I have not even fathomed before. Until then I believe He wants me to continue to focus on Him and my healing. I know He brought sweet Richard into my life to show me how I deserve to be loved. So grateful that he made such an impact even if he was only here for a mere blip of time. Miss that boy so much. 

Love to you all.