July 11, 2013
This morning I woke up, peaceful and calm, with a quiet heart. I got up early and drove up to Monte Sano Mountain to sit at the scenic overlook. I wanted some sincere quiet time to pray and reflect; and this is a spot Richard and I had come a few times. I took his letters with me, read and soaked up his written words. I was gratefully reminded of what a stellar soul that kid had. It filled my heart with joy.
I thanked the Lord for all of his mercies and blessings. I prayed for calm and quiet hearts for all of Richard's friends and family today. I sat in awe of his creation and in awe of how only God could take a tragic situation, such as Richard's death, and bring absolute beauty from it. I am reminded every day of this as I witness tragedy after tragedy - death, sickness, natural disasters - and one thing is always a common factor: people band together in times of trouble. They help one another, they encourage one another, they pray for one another, they do all they can to try to get things back to a state of normal. What a gorgeous display of community; I have no doubt that this is how God intended to live our lives every single day.
Only by the power of the Lord did I wake up this morning calm and grateful. So glad I had the opportunity to love and be loved by such a sweet soul of a man; so thankful for all of you that have encouraged, prayed and reached out to me. What a glimpse of heaven.
Then I came home and read a few sermons on death and felt even more grateful as the ones I "just happened" to read were exactly the ones I needed to see. (Funny, funny God). "Our sickness and death are sent by the same love that sent us a Savior, and sent us the powerful preachers of his Word, and sent us his Spirit, and secretly and sweetly changed our hearts, and knit them to himself in love; which gave us a life of precious mercies for our soul and bodies, and has promised to give us life eternal; and shall we think that he now intends us any harm? Cannot he turn this also to our good, as he has done many an affliction which we have complained about?"
Today I vow to my God to rejoice in Richard's death for I know he has made (and can continue to make) a beautiful situation out of it. I will rejoice for Richard because he is at peace and in his eternal home. I will rejoice because I hope to be there with him some day. I will never stop missing him; but I will continue to rejoice!
Love to you all on this day and every day.