Leaning In To Listen

December 1, 2016

Embracing it. 

That's what I set out to do in the year of 2016. I adopted this as a theme for my year in an effort to live 2016 in the here and now. To focus on what is good for me, and not compare myself to others. I took it on as a mindset to embrace the new city and season my life had tumbled into (read: that God had carefully laid out for me...but sometimes even that can feel like a tumble), and to welcome Houston and Texas into my big, dopey loving arms. 

And it's been perfect.

When I set the theme, I had a friend tell me to get ready to embrace growth, as well, because that is what happens when you open up your big, loving dopey arms for whatever life is going to throw at you. You're going to be stretched and pulled and tugged at. Growth will be inevitable.

Growth has happened and it's been mostly good, though uncomfortable at times. But an underlying theme that has risen to the surface through my year of being stretched has been leaning in. Leaning in to intuition. God gifted me with extreme intuition - with strong gut feelings that I can't ignore even when I try. (And I've tried)

He also granted me with the fine gift of stubbornness. 

The combination of the two means I am constantly fighting with the phrase "trust your gut," because oftentimes, I don't like what my gut is saying. I argue with it and combat it and try to find excuses (and justify them) that will prove it wrong. It's exhausting.

Over the year I kept hearing this from others more and more - "what does your gut say?" "I think you need to trust your gut more." And I was like -- I AM. But sometimes I wasn't.

There have been times that I've said "oh my gut is telling me this," and IT WASN'T. I was just trying to align my head and my heart with that gnawing feeling going on inside of me. I wasn't listening. I was trying to manipulate the situation into my own perfect scenario. It's never worked. And gut feelings can change, just like a person's mind can change, and it's important to understand that so if it happens you're not like WHAT IS HAPPENING. 

But - I have never, not once in my life, regretted going with my gut, just as I often, almost always, regret when I don't listen. 

My entire life I've known that intuition is a strong piece of me, but for much of my life I haven't used it as a testament to how God is working. It hasn't been until this year that I've learned and understood that THIS is one of the primary ways that God communicates with me. To deny it and ignore it is to deny and ignore communication from the One that created me. (I actually got to chat with my new friend Emily Cummins over at becomingme.tv about it - that interview will hit social media soon!)

And all of us may not be intuitive types (I had a friend tell me that her gut lies to her, lolol), but I guarantee you God is communicating with you in some way -- you just have to be willing to actually listen when it happens. 

So in the true nature of embracing things - I am embracing that intuition that God gifted me with that sometimes I hate so much because it doesn't tell me what I want to hear. Thought it always tells me what I need. 

I am setting out to listen to it, hear it, and follow it. In turn, listening to Him, hearing Him, and following Him. I hope you will, too.