A Post for the Grieving: Cut Yourself Some Slack.

April 19, 2015

Yo, you.  Yea, you.  You over there that is suffering from a broken heart and beating yourself up about it.  You that is grieving something and it is affecting you in a way different than you think it should be.  You that is much stronger than you think even though you don't feel like it right now.  Listen to me.

Cut yourself some slack.

I need you to take a step back, exhale a huge, long breath, and show yourself a little grace.  I need you to be patient with yourself.  I need you to recognize that you are grieving something and rest in it because God is working through you during this time.

Do you know that it is okay to be grateful and sad at the same time?  Do you know that it is okay that you are not handling an event as well as you think you should be?  Do you know that, just as you are an individual, so is your sorrow and that it is unique?

This post comes to you on the other end of my grief.  On the other end of a two year grieving process (yowzers, two years).  As I charged into 2015 with my BeyoncĂ© themes and thrifty dreams, I had no clue that I was just now nearing the end of my full healing.  If you had told me that my grieving process would have taken a two full years (give or take a day or two), I would have simultaneously laughed and sobbed.  (Ironic that one of the tabs up at the top there is titled "The Year of Grieving."  I suppose it should be changed to "The Year of Writing About Grieving.")  Once the one year mark hit, I thought - surely, surely I would be completely patched up.  But I wasn't.  Because I am a person with ALL THE FEELINGS that run deep and wide and INTENSE; therefore, I grieve longer than maybe you would have in this event.  I wish that I would have known I was still in the middle of it, as then I would have not continued to beat myself up over my periodic sadness.  And I would have stopped fighting my heart when it said, "hey - maybe you're not quite ready to date, which is why you might be freaking out about this set-up."  And I would have paid closer attention to what God was trying to show me through the process.  I would have cut myself some slack.

So whatever it is that you're currently grieving - a loved one, an idea, a lifestyle, a plan, a desire that has been fulfilled yet - take it in, breathe deep, and ask God to reveal himself through this time.  You're strong and you will indeed come out on the other side, but until then, cut yourself some slack.

photo credit: https://www.etsy.com/listing/178615326/the-fault-in-our-stars-typewriter-quote