October 15, 2014
We dated for six whole months. Excitement and happiness would flood my heart when thoughts like “Oh, this could definitely work,” or “I could see myself marrying this man” entered my mind. But somehow, I knew it would not be permanent. I had a gut feeling, several nudges, and a few signs to tell me it wouldn’t be forever, but it was difficult to argue with intuition.
A pretty quiet, but ironically loud, nudge came one October night. I was beginning to settle into sleep, thinking how great things had been going with him and how I could definitely see myself marrying him, I had a vivid thought: “You will not marry this man.”
It was clear enough to cause my eyes to pop open. It was a thought in MY head but I swore I was not the one it came from. I lay very still and began to silently argue. What? What do you mean? But I love him and I can see myself with him. Eventually I gave up arguing with myself and drifted into sleep.